I got all kinds of gripes with the Uncharted games, but is the last straw. I vow that I’m never, EVER going to play another Uncharted game again, except for maybe 4 when I see it on sale, the new Tomb Raider games, and those old MS DOS Indiana Jones point ‘n’ click adventures.
So it’s all well and good when it’s someone else’s treasure chest? But when it’s your treasure chest, it’s not funny when it turns out to be a mimic after all?
Stealing your dad’s car is a slippery slope, kids.
Pokémon has a reputation for being a game about cute little creatures, but when you really scratch beneath the surface, the Pokédex is closer to a Lovecraftian horror anthology than something for kids.
And still, Detective Pikachu has managed to throw the “cutest to scariest” scale right out the window, and replace it with something like “Pokémon I think are least likely to hide under my bed at night to eat my hand when it dangles over the edge, and Pokémon that will just outright murder me in broad daylight while no one dares to try and stop it”.
“Can we NOT do this on a volcano, please?”
I’ve been playing through the Devil May Cry series recently - I've been meaning to do it for years but with the release of DMC5 I finally decided it was time to get round to it. I really enjoyed the first game, and it felt great to finally finish the whole thing after never getting that far when I was just a little teeny tiny baby boy.
DMC2 on the other hand just completely drained me for some reason. The reality is it’s not a bad game. There’s a bit more variety in combat (if you really wanted to put in more effort than necessary) and the environments have a little more flavour, but the whole thing is so tedious and underwhelming. And they still didn’t fix the camera issues from the first game. I’d heard a lot of negative stuff about DMC2 prior to playing it, but I figured I had to see it to believe it.
3 hours 40 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. I could’ve watched Beetlejuice two and a half times in that span. That’s it, that’s my review, don’t play DMC2, just go watch Beetlejuice at least twice.
The Katamari game series is great for everyone, no doubt about it, but its perfect for people that love collecting things, causing chaos, and disappointing their Dads. Unfortunately I’m only good at one of those things, and at this point I’m too good at it to stop.
I’m so sorry Dad
I can’t remember how many days Resident Evil 4 takes place over. Most of the game plays out under cover of night, but the amount of times Leon ends up knocked out leaves me clueless - my guess is it’s somewhere between a full work week and one day. I think what’s really more disorienting is that Leon manages to survive on a diet of noxious looking plants, and some suspiciously raw eggs. Now that’s what I call an all-day breakfast!
Wow! A comic about an extremely esoteric event in Final Fantasy 9! What a twist!
There’s a moment a few hours into the story that allows you choose Princess Garnet’s nickname, and this really should be trivial decision, in the end it’s just a name. For some reason the cutscene preceding your choice really tries to guide you to a specific name, to the point where naming her anything else makes it seem like you’re the crazy one for wanting to have some agency over a character’s name.
Otherwise, I’ve been enjoying the Switch version of FF9 since it dropped after the last Nintendo Direct, though the fact it’s a port of the mobile version is a little disappointing. Regardless, it’s still my favourite Final Fantasy title, and hopefully they’ll give the game the attention it deserves.
I don’t think anyone’s booted up Euro Truck Sim for the first time and not made a huge mistake that led to the infrastructure of a small shipping port shutting down. It turns out that the line between ‘everythings fine’ and ‘potential economic collapse’ is about 3 inches between a local’s car and a lorry driver with 30 minutes experience (most of which was spent not stopping fast enough for red lights and driving 56mph in a 30mph zone).
Lets try something different! A new type of column with one BIG picture instead of lots of little words. This big picture is about Ace Combat 7, and how much fun I had crashing into the ground a lot. It’s more satisfying than Microsoft Flight Sim 98 for causing unnecessary damage to your aircraft, and maybe that’s what really matters.
Was that a review? Yeah, sure, why not?
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